What book(s) are you reading at the moment? I just started reading this book, The Power of Now, three years ago.
Craziest client you’ve written for? McDonald’s of the Bahamas. From a desk in Oakland. In a distinctly Bahamian voice per client request.
Thoughts on the Oxford comma? Having an opinion on the Oxford comma isn’t a personality trait.
What were the biggest obstacles you faced in your last writing positions? Catching pneumonia and getting bitten by venomous spiders. Still didn’t miss a day of work.
What’s your favorite genre of music? UK Garage. This one wasn’t a joke. I don’t joke about music.
What type of car do you drive? My mom’s car.
Most recent thing you got paid to write? Ghostwriting Hinge pickup lines.
Most famous person you’ve met? I once played basketball with Matt Damon.
When you’re not writing you’re… Doing laundry.
What is something that you struggle with? Staying hydrated. It feels like I drink all this water just to piss it all away.
What drives you? Mostly bus drivers. Occasionally train operators
Favorite campaign? “The Unforbidden Fruit” by Grey NYC for Dole Fruit. Quite literally a godly one.
Dream client? Rust-Oleum. Meanwhile, I’m probably their nightmare writer.
What does your process look like? I look at a brief, and then I ask myself, “What would God say?” And then write down whatever my next thought is.
Do you put pots and pans in the dishwasher? Of course. And to those who say there are microplastics in my body, there’s also love, and 25% Italian heritage.
How do you give back to your community? By getting an exorbitant amount of parking tickets.
Favorite fun fact? Kesha scored higher on the ACT than any U.S. President.
What’s one thing you think the world would be better without? Children. They’re so needy and unintelligent. Future generations would thank us.
